PR is no magic!

Travesty of being a service provider...

“We in PR are professionals and not magicians” is my trademark dialogue that my colleagues are by now very familiar with. They did not realize how true this caveat can turn unless they were confronted with this self-obsessed academic the other day in a business pitch. On persistence of an old acquaintance in the advertising industry I squeezed in some time on a hectic day, at an hour’s notice, to meet this gentleman, an advisory board member of a management institute, anonymous, and tucked far away in NCR in an area which once took pride in being the farm house of a former Prime Minister.

Running short of time we were first made to wait for 20 minutes and then were taken to a tiny conference room where this gentleman was sitting. Wanting to desperately convey how busy (or big) he was, he kept fiddling with his BlackBerry for another 7-8 minutes and then with a frown glanced at us. “Hmmm, so tell us about yourself,” he asked in a patronizing tone, smacking of hollow arrogance. As is customary, I gave the spiel on my background, trying still my best to impress him. Seemingly unimpressed by my years in journalism, academics, corporate and handling assignments from some of the top national and multinational companies, he stared in my eyes and posed a “candid” question. “How can you ensure I get printed in Times of India and Hindustan Times and Economic Times and Business Standard….” “Sir, but that depends on a variety of factors and our expertise lies in helping you navigate that process which will ensure good media presence,” was my instant reply.

“Ah, everyone says this. How are you different.” “I am like one of these Sir,” I politely submitted. “However, we do have some special qualities by way of better understanding of the DNA of media as well as advising you on events that would ensure good media eyeballs.” I said. “Nothing doing, I want a first page interview in TOI for my chairman, a half-page spread in a business daily, and a quarter page coverage of a Switzerland Prime Minister speaking to our students,” he blurted out leaving me gasping and hugely suspect of his claimed antecedents of “London School of Economics” and knowing “all the top editors and owners of newspapers of the country by their first names.”

“Sir with such good contacts and understanding of media I guess I have to learn a great deal from you,” I politely said. “Ah, I no longer enjoy calling my friends for small favours though there was a time when they would call me 4 times in a day begging for my quotes,” he said with utter disregard to my journalistic understanding.

“I shall soon come back to you with a proposal,” I said wanting to leave soonest. “What proposal. Tell me if you can get these things fixed for me or not,” he almost shouted at me.

“We are professionals and not magicians Sir,” was all I could say before I made a quiet, yet hurried, exit from this suffocating environment.